Wednesday, May 22, 2024

Confusion, Doubts and Procrastination

You cannot be what you want to be, you cannot do what you want to do!

Not only you, but many people find that in their lives and business, they are hindered by their own limitations to achieve and to attain what they want in their lives.

The limitations? Fears, anxieties and panic accompanying thoughts like “I will fail”, “I am a jinx”, “I will never make it”, “I am unlucky”, “I am not good enough”, “I am a phony”, and so on.

These emotions and thoughts have likely been ingrained into us through experiences with negative and critical parents, teachers, adults, including siblings, relatives, friends and enemies. They likely occur when we were young, growing up and impressionable.

These negative emotions and thoughts might also be the result of some psychological or physically traumatic events that we may have experienced. It is possible that interactions with others that give rise to negative emotions and thoughts may be traumatic for us as well.

Notwithstanding these negative emotions and thoughts, it is likely that we have been able to succeed to an extent as we grow up because of favourable circumstances, opportunities and supportive friends.

Indeed with some success, we tend to forget our bad experiences in the past and we happily go along merrily with our lives until we face a challenge which mysteriously activate past experiences and past psychological trauma.

When activated, we again face the same negative emotions and thoughts as we try to confront the challenges that we are now facing, and these negative emotions and thoughts are incapacitating.

They prevent you from moving forward with confidence.

The result? We pull back, withdraw, give up and let go of whatever we are doing, .. because we think that we will not succeed or go half-heartedly and do not really achieve what we want.

Disappointed, frustrated, confused and a sense of failure, even though you thought you found your meaning and purpose in life doing what you are doing.

I have good news for you, your difficulties can be resolved,

Yes, I know that you may have consulted counsellors, coaches, psychologists, therapists, even psychiatrists and all kinds of experts. Well, they did help, somewhat, you may be slightly better, but not really fully in control of yourself. 

You may have taken medication, enrol in all sort of courses, go for all kinds of healing…………. But,  not quite there yet.

What can I do for you?

In my work as a psychotherapist and expert in Stress Management for 35+ years, I have helped countless people with stress and stress related issues with problems such as those described here. 

I have worked hard to get them to overcome these issues so that they can live normal lives and pursue their dreams. 

I am also a Board-Certified Expert in Traumatic Stress and I have worked with many who had past psychological trauma and handicapped in many ways in their functioning. 

My success rate working with such clients are up to about 80% for those clients that continue with my therapy and treatment. These successful outcomes were achieved because I did work hard to find out what were the underlying issues that handicap them and work harder to help them overcome such psychological pain in their lives.

Unlike the proliferation of lay healers who use only a single technique to meet your needs and gets helpless if you don’t respond, as an expert, I have a variety of techniques and measures that can be tailored to your specific condition. Some may require different techniques at different stages of their healing.

So, entrepreneurs and small business owners, if you are labouring under a cloud where negative thoughts and bad memories haunt you and limit your functioning, help is available and tailored specifically for you.

The late Steve Jobs had a very traumatic past, he sought for long term therapy and healing, this was what helped him to function at his best.

Be able to function at your best, your optimal best!

Schedule a call. Contact me now for a free discovery session.

2 programs designed for your healing

  1. The Optimal YOU. 

This is a 9 step program for  you to conquer your limiting beliefs, negative thoughts, fears, anxieties, panic attacks and all psychological barriers to your optimal functioning.

The goal is not just to get rid of these psychological blockades, but to point you forward and equip you with the necessary skills so that you can start on the path of fulfilling your mission in life and make your purpose and dreams come true.

In order to ensure a fit, a complementary Discovery session is offered, so that you can assess for yourself whether this will truly meet your needs. For stories of how others had succeeded with me, please read the testimonials.

Book your discovery call

2. Growth through Trauma

No matter how traumatised you are in the past, there is always a way to help you overcome the effects of it. Indeed, by growing with and through your trauma, you can come through stronger, more resilient and psychological more prepared to face any psychological challenges you may face later in life.

The orientation is holistic, with a range of techniques ranging from behavioural, cognitive, relational and specific techniques to uncover psychological trauma and to help you to healing. 

The outcome that you can expect is after working through all these hurts and pain, you will be a stronger person, able to pursue what you want, and a more adaptable person able to do what you want to do.

Contact me now for a free discovery session.


From Stephanie

I was 16 when I started having regular panic attacks. These attacks escalated and by the time I was 18, they became so frequent that I was unable to step out of my home. 

Because of my inability to even get about daily activities, I sank into depression. It was a vicious cycle; the feeling of impending doom suggested heightened anxiety, and the anxiety-fuelled panic attacks pulled me deeper and deeper into depression. 

During this time, I had consulted numerous doctors in public hospitals and private clinics. I had never stayed in therapy or been on medication for more than 2 months, as I never felt connected with the doctors. I couldn’t feel that they could truly understand what I was going through and I was unable to relate to their way of  treatment. 

In 2002, at the lowest point of my life, I met Dr Kong. He was a firm figure yet gentle and compassionate. He spent time to understand my condition and did not dismiss any of my concerns regardless of how minute and insignificant they might have been. The sessions I have had with him were meaningful and unlike any other doctors I had seen before, he did not file me up as a classic textbook case of adolescence anxiety. I was respected as an individual, for the first time. 

We worked on mindfulness and relaxation techniques. Under Dr Kong’s guidance, we confronted my fears and anxiety through exposure therapy where I was to imagine real-life scenarios which frightened me. Gradually, I learnt to cope more effectively with these fears. These techniques were simple enough for me to practise myself at home, or anywhere and any time it is needed. Naturally, the anxious response within me diminished. Within six months, I was able to function independently and have a regular social life while keeping the panic attacks under control. 

Dr Kong was able to give valuable insights on the root of my issues . With his help, I reconciled these differences I have had and slowly my world changed. He had supported me through my transformation and I am very pleased with the treatment I got from him. His effective strategies, coupled with his wittiness and open-mindedness, made the treatment sessions inspiring, wholesome and constructive. 

I never needed another doctor.

From Adam O

In 1989, my pregnant wife started to develop feelings of depression like hope-lessness, extreme anger, anxiety, etc.  This made me felt very devastated, fearful and lost since I was still new to married life yet had to face with a new challenge that my parents, siblings and in-laws were also helpless about.

With a recommendation by my wife’s close friend, we consulted Dr Douglas Kong on 3rd July 1989.  He skilfully gathered from my wife that she had a history of poor parental support and dysfunctional family relationship.  This caused her to cope with her growing years rather badly and been susceptible to feelings of depression as she grew up and hence developed Prenatal Depression.

Dr Kong was kind, compassionate and caring while still providing top notch care for my wife and our unborn baby. In more than one occasion I had to bring my wife to the Emergency Dept in the middle of the night and Dr Kong would rush down to the hospital during the odd hours to attend to the problem by providing his professional service that would rapidly improve the situation.  He would again return to the ward the next day to provide follow up care.

We felt assured and confident after seeing him.  His prescriptions and psychotherapeutic support helped my wife tremendously in taking care of our son and to overcome her feelings of rejection and insecurity. Dr Kong was able to help my wife overcome her negative outlook and self-defeating behaviours and fears. Her past traumatic events were resolved by Dr Kong’s expertise, and she can also adapt to her psychosocial needs.  She was much improved but not without problems bringing up our only son.

My wife is much improved now and still continuing follow up medical treatment with Dr Kong.  As a caregiver, I also did receive guidance from Dr Kong on the proper methods in helping my wife and son to recover.  As a husband and father of patients with psychological and psychiatric illness and the myriad challenges that come with it, I would like to applaud Dr Douglas Kong.  We are very lucky to know of such an amazing, intelligent and caring Psychiatrist doctor.  Dr Kong is very kind, caring and knows his medical ‘stuff’.

Doctor Kong became one of the most important person in my life, ever since I started seeing him.  I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder and had 2 major panic attack in 2007.  In 2008 my business was facing very difficult time and my anxiety disorder symptom was worsen, and I was referred to see Doctor Kong.  

At the time I was under Doctor Kong’s care, my life was all heading the wrong direction, not only business was facing closure, marriage was also troubled, I was very unstable.  I was very fortunate that Doctor Kong was there for me, not only he helped me to stabilize my troubled mind and life, he had guided me to handle my matters in the right ways, I was treated with the right medications.  

I can not imagine what my life would be like in the present days if I didn’t see Doctor Kong, with Doctor Kong’s guidance I was able to accept my business fate calmly, and I managed to keep my family together, we are now living in the USA.  

From M Seng

Dr Kong has weaned me off nearly 30 years of using Xanax which I required during an extremely stressful period for me professionally but which I kept on using as a means to manage the ups and downs of my work.

The thing that impressed me much was Dr Kong’s ability to lay out all the facts to help me reach an informed decision while being encouraging all the time.

From talking to him, I realized that change was possible.  Dr Kong walked me through the effects of stopping and together we agreed I would come to a hard stop and manage insomnia with Melatonin (at the right dose which Dr Kong advised – don’t try this with Melatonin from the health food stores, it won’t work!), and with breathing exercises and “speaking to my fears” if any panic attacks came my way.

The whole processes was guided from the start and expecations set so I only needed to call Dr Kong to consult once in the first 10 days. Through that time my sleep was only mildly effect and all anxiety attacks were faced. Past the 10-day point, some recalibrating of my emotions and responses in my interactions with colleagues and friends now I was running without the effect of Xanax.

It has been more than a month has passed now and I am at a good “new normal” with Xanax a memory.

From Kenneth Y

I had been a patient of Dr Kong  for over 10 years and my experience of him had been very positive. I had been suffering from a number of career setbacks  but also from my domestic front with my wife and kids/ He had been objective both in his counselling as well as his prescription of medication.

I also suffer from very bad insomnia during these episodes and Dr Kong has taught me skills in keeping a more hygienic behavior besides sleep medication to improve my very bad insomnia.

In my opinion, Dr Kong provided me with more than adequate care especially in coaching me on coping skills complemented with medication. Only for medication for which he has to be prescriptive, his counseling has always been not making decisions for me, but in helping to see my situation for what I really is and also providing guiding principles to cope with it. To me, this is like arming me with fishing skills instead of giving me the fish and create a dependence on him. Except for the rare occasions, where I was in very dire straits that I saw him using intervention to haul me out of deep waters like when I was suicidal and that was the only way out for me at that point.